Current Thoughts
| What’s the difference between shame and guilt? According to John Delony, the difference is around core identity versus behavior: shame is the feeling that “I am bad/stupid/broken,” leading to hiding and isolation. Guilt, conversely, is the acknowledgment that “I did something bad,” focusing on behaviors that can be corrected. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “fat shaming”. It’s the act of criticizing someone for their excess body fat with the purpose of making them feel shameful and insecure. Clearly, this is both an immoral practice and an ineffective strategy. Yet, in order to create an opportunity for change, you also have to be able to tell the truth. I heard a talk around parenting and that the kids that were able to integrate best into society as effective adults were those were given both high standard and high support. High standards without support equals fear and anxiety. Low standards and high support equals extended adolescence. Low standards and low support equals neglect. In the process of loving my kids well, I have to show them what the standards are and, since they are kids, guide them through the guilt they feel when they miss them. Without the guilt of knowing they did something incorrect, I don’t imagine they would be open to any guidance. Thinking through this lens with regards to health and fitness, I think we often miss the mark for the sake of protecting people from negative emotions. If you’re regularly missing the minimum exercise requirements, consistently putting less than ideal food in your body, and sacrificing sleep for other things, you’re missing the mark. You’re failing to reach the standards of proper stewardship of your body. Guilt is a reasonable response to that awareness. You’re not a victim, this is not who you are. These are things you are doing or not doing you have agency to change them. If you’re struggling, it’s not that the standards are too high, it’s that your current support structure is lacking. High standards + High Support equals success. |
Things I like
This quote from Chris Williamson
Thinbs to Check Out
https://www.instagram.com/p/DUa-tDugOSh
Have a great week!
David
